I have finally understood why someone was telling me that humans are superficial yet complex beings... so many things has happened in my life lately...and i am on the verge of giving up...i am sick of seeing what goes around me these days...how i wish that i could leave this world...i wanna be in a place of solitude...i really miss my past...the good old KC days...my group of 208 friends...tears replete my eyes constantly...i feel so hurt...why do i have to keep on lying to people that i am fine...when infact i am not alright inside...well somethings are best just left unspoken...and maybe it shall heal itself one day...i just pray that i can hang in there...and maybe one day you will pick me up and wipe those tears away from me...coz the only thing that i am holding on now is you...my only hope...my only ray of light...

Girl, i miss you so much...thanks for that listening ear despite the distance...i love you!

I am getting so pissed off in the middle of the night...Argh...i feel like screaming my heads off now...why do i feel as if i am being kept from things...am i being too sensitive here? i don't know...

I am still thinking about you
On this lonely night, i am still missing you
Why can't i let you go?
Caused i have loved you so much so much
More than words can say
You broke my heart many times
But i forgive you
My love for you was true
So real that i can still remember your soft gentle touch
I wish to hold your hands once more
And tell you i love you
But it's over and i am broken into pieces...

Dinner on wednesday with Ah dong and the girls...

Sarah darling n me again at Sue's cha cha place...wrapped up in our blankets...

Sarah n me...

tears still fill my eyes every night...crying myself to sleep in my room...i have built those walls around me...so that no one could enter my world once more...i am sorry to have pushed many people away from me...not becoz i don't wanna give anyone a chance...but it's me whom i cant handle myself...i wished i could tell you the reasons...it's becoz the fear of me becoming vulnerable to people...has coz me to close my doors...i need to heal myself of this excruciating pain...frankly, i still miss him...he was my strength...always there to hold me up and not let me fall...his constant words of encouragement...his love...his care...but i know i got to let it go becoz of something...coz i know if i were to hold on...more things will go so wrong...sigh...why does love for me got to be bitter and sweet...

whoo!...so gorgeous aren't they...

trying to complete my dental essay right now...but somehow i cant seem to put my heart into it...my heart is crying inside...trying to be strong outside...putting up a brave front for everyone...but inside me is just complete sadness...i can't seem to find the will to do anything right now...not even for my dance...i just wanna give up...and runaway from everyone...i wanna lock myself up in my room of solitude...dropping those tears silently and praying that God will pick me up and wipe away those tears of mine...i am feeling that excruciating pain again...i have deleted almost every memory i could find in me...the love that i once thought existed...is gone forever...how can i ever heal myself of this misery...i wanna close this door behind me...and not love again...maybe there isnt such thing as real love or true love...coz it will never exist for me...

i can't stop crying tonight...wishing and hoping that you could wipe away those tears of mine...why must i go through such a fate...where have you even gone to...when i needed you the most you are out there having great fun with your friends...does your words ever carry any weight? do you even mean those things in the first place...well, i give up...i have lost my will in everything...maybe there is no such thing as true love in the first place...

Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, It is not proud, It is not rude, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.

Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

argh!!! i wanna cry...i wanna cry...i wanna cry...feeling so scare now...why is this happening...i can't focus on my revision at all...please let me go...i beg you...

something is happening for real now...and i am really freaking out...stressed out with my exams...and still have this problem to worry about...i wanna break down and cry my hearts out...but i am pulling it in..keeping myself strong...how long can i hold on...i don't know...after putting down the phone...the silence in my room engulfs me once more...making me fear so much...i agree problems are created by mankind...and now i have to face the consequences myself...will i ever live to see tomorrow...i don't know...why can't someone take me away and purge that poison out of me...

haha...so funny...i was singing along the corridor of the dental hospital at the 8th floor...with my little nursery rhymes...ba ba black sheep...didnt even realised that there were people listening to me...argh...then later someone came out and ask who was it singing...i quickly brushed it off and said, "yeah, i heard someone singing too!" haha...now trying to control my laughter man...got to pretend as if nothing happened...muhahaha...i must have freaked that person out with my stupid scary voice...

Go and visit this site...the video clip is so cute...cheered me up really!!!

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2005/talking-dogs-p1.php

My pretty pretty flowers...

It is just past midnight and somehow i still can't get down to my work...getting so distracted...feeling so lost in this dark and lonely night in glasgow...wishing and hoping that someone could take me away from my misery and purge the poison out of me...will this be a dream...i don't know...loneliness envelops me in this solitary place...tears trickling down my tender cheeks...will someone ever truly care...Am I even worthy of love and happiness...within these eyes faith still remains...I'm hoping to make something of myself...If I hold on, will it get better...Can I survive so my dreams may unfold?

Year one medics at the chinese new year dinner at peking court...

sigh...i dont exactly know what to say right now...why can't this jealousy thing stops? the more you try to confuse me...the more i dont wanna love at all...coz you just make me fear the consequences of love...maybe people think that it is good to have a flock of guys going after you...but honestly i am not at all happy...in fact i feel so lost and so insecure...there are days where i feel so down...just wished that i could share my burdens and problems with someone...but after what happened lately...i have closed up once more...i do really just wanna a simple love life...someone who i can spend the rest of my life with...someone who can really love me....someone who can give me the tender loving care that i need...someone who i can laugh with..someone who can really accept the way i am...so when will i ever know who is the right one for me...i just hope for someone to love me sincerely and purely...and not out of any evil intentions...i have kind of lost hope in these things...what i can do now is to just pray and seek god...and for now i shall drown myself in my books...just wanna run away from the realities of the real world...

i am so so stressed up with my exams...looking weary and tired...so many things that i got to read up on...and i really wanna do well in this exam...finally found the inspiration to study once again...but my health is not getting any better...i am really falling ill...my sinus is killing me...woke up this morning with my whole head aching...i am hoping that i could get to see the gp tonight...february is truly a busy month for me...got so much to do with so little time...exams, ski trip, concord's reunion, dance and more...it may seem little but i have got so much planning to do and good time management needed...plus i still got things unsettled...i hope i can survive this tough time...okay shall get back to work now before it is too late...