Happy 21st Birthday Teddy!!!

My wretching heart is crying out for your love.
Will you ever know?
How I long that things were still the same,
Those days where you were there to hug me and love me.
Will you ever know i am crying in my bed tonight?
With tears that never stop flowing.
How I wish i could let you know
But I dont know whether i will be push aside once more.

I am feeling happy...My friend is coming up to Glasgow to visit me. Yay! And he has promised me a teddy bear too...okay now i have something to look forward too...Gonna get some studying done and looking forward to my fun-filled weekend.

Feeling so distracted and dizzy the whole of tonight. My mind kept on wondering elsewhere and i couldnt even do my dance properly. The road ahead of me seems to be a long and ardous one. But i have got to stay strong and persevere with it. I need to learn to be independent and stand on my own two feet once more. This past week, i have been going through many relaspses which have caused me to break down in tears. I know Our Lord Jesus is faithful and he will always be there for me. I need to pray more and seek his face during this time.

A wretching heart, tears falling. There's no one else but Jesus whom i can pour out my feelings to. People just disappoint me. I have finally seen how selfish human beings can get. I am not saying i am perfect myself and i am slowly learning to be a better person. I don't know how to share with anyone what's in my heart. Not the boyfriend too. And the only comfort i can get is knowing that God is listening to my pains and my teddy bear is hugging me tight and giving me the warmth i need. All i wish is one day i can find someone who is there to walk through life with me and do the things that i love most together.

I think maybe it's time for me to reconsider eveything. There's too much pain. I wish i had a voice and that it could be heard by you. But at the same time, i fear. The instability of us is making me doubt. A piece of my broken thoughts.