tears still fill my eyes every night...crying myself to sleep in my room...i have built those walls around me...so that no one could enter my world once more...i am sorry to have pushed many people away from me...not becoz i don't wanna give anyone a chance...but it's me whom i cant handle myself...i wished i could tell you the reasons...it's becoz the fear of me becoming vulnerable to people...has coz me to close my doors...i need to heal myself of this excruciating pain...frankly, i still miss him...he was my strength...always there to hold me up and not let me fall...his constant words of encouragement...his love...his care...but i know i got to let it go becoz of something...coz i know if i were to hold on...more things will go so wrong...sigh...why does love for me got to be bitter and sweet...