I really wanna go home badly now...this whole signing of contract and settling of new flat is hellish...it just puts me into tears...i feel so alone...so unsure of what i am doing...first talking to G then later crying over the phone to dad...called sarah and then teddy...yeah...it's really tough...i wished someone could give me the proper directions...yeah...maybe clarence could do so...but he is now a history...i have been reading through that letting document three times and realised that indeed i have the rights to demand for my windows to be cleaned properly...and that broken chair to be replaced...i am not demanding alright!!!! that stupid agent tried to cheat me...i am just doing things the legal way...the proper way...that agent is really f***ed up...

i am moving to my new flat tomorrow...wow! so much packing to do man...and the layers of dust in my room is causing my eyes to tear and itch...and soon it will be home sweet home for me...to be honest i am not prepare to head home...cause there is so many things inside me that i feel so unsettled...i havent fully healed from my past...yes, i still cry myself to sleep...i still feel so lost...and sometimes i just feel as if i cant carry on any longer...how long more will i have to bear with this pain inside me...why can't i let things go? i was staring into the night sky just now...and i thought of my past...i am finding it so hard to let go...so many things happened to me this past year while i was in glasgow...i miss my grandma so badly...i love her so much...and now she has gone to a far far away place...i received a call from someone today...and somehow while talking to him...i recalled all the good times we had together...okay if only time could stop...

Feeling so unsettled inside...struggling with many conflicts inside me...lost in this maze and i cant seem to get myself out...no one has managed to speak the right words to me...maybe i am just this mysterious person that no one can ever understand...or is it because i am just so strange...fighting so hard for better days ahead...but i would say it is tough...will anyone ever understand what i am going through...many things is running through my mind right now...and i am just thinking whether i should give up some things completely...coz i cant see that bright future ahead...

Green Mini Padlocked Bag...very pretty too...

The Contour Bowler Bag...i love the blue...nice nice...

Maybe i will never know how much you loved me cause i am too blind to see... I miss the days when you were just a beautiful mystery, and an endless possibility...