feeling kind of happy now...there is this little happiness inside me today...perhaps maybe things seem to be going right for me...someone had asked to look at the pictures in my phone today...well, all the pictures inside are simply me...i am self obsessed...bleah! and guess what he commented...i look pretty in those pictures...and he is like insisting me to go with him to the disco tomorrow night...i am not going...i am not a disco person ya...and don't try to woo me... as i am simply hurt inside...i am still undergoing some sort of depression...just that i don't see the point of me showing it...

i just broke down today...i am just feeling too stressed from the AS English work load...sometimes i just wished i hadn't taken the subject at all...but i don't see the point of dropping it at this point of time as i am almost three quarter through the course already...sigh!!!!

i am so pissed...just screwed up my chem test....urgh!!! there goes my A grade man...

just finished prep! it is snowing outside...so cold...got back my bio test paper today...kind of please with the results...glad that my bio has improved...finally my efforts has paid through...having a chem test on rates of reaction tml...think i am rather prepared for the test...i have been practising lots of questions on the topic...hope i will do well for it tml...gonna start writing out my english analysis later...never love doing it...but this time round i shall have to produce a good piece of work as it is gonna contribute to our predicted AS grade...urgh! work, work, work...makes me feel so tire...bleah :) went for valentine's day disco on saturday night...it was fun...had a great time dancing with pei gee...haha...felt so bad not accepting to dance with someone for the slow dance...whoever it is...i am sorry...anyway, gotta go now...tata

I have finally settled my room problem. yeah, but i still feel kind of unhappy to pay for both accommodations. I don't really have the choice. It is either i stay in and fail my exams with that bunch of noisy people or i move out and get my grades. I will never leave the door of concord without voicing out my unhappiness on my last days here. It is just unfair get it. I wished that "Bees" would have given me the room in the first place. Rather then me donating an extra 2000 pounds to the school charitable fund. The money could have been better spent elsewhere like even donating to the tsunami victims. What to do, we are living in the real world where only money talks. If you are rich, you will get what you want. You can change the things around you that you dislike. Honestly, i feel mentally abused from this incident. And i have learnt one thing, that is to be more meant. It is sad, the purest heart of a young girl is intoxicated by the evilness of man-kind. Why is this happening? To think of the whole incident that happened in december, tears just seem to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably. People are simply selfish. They just think for themselves. They don't really bother whether anot you are studying or asleep, as long as they do what pleases them, they are contented. How selfish can these people get right? Why dont they spare a thought for someone else who is keen of doing well. I have learnt quite a bit from this incident and it has mould my character. Never will i be so kind towards anyone anymore. Besides my kin. Cause I really don't see the point of being nice when people are just so mean towards you. Even doctors, they are supposed to be the ones whom is perceived as compassionate and kind hearted, but in reality most top notch doctors only treat patients if they have the money. Sad, but this is the hard and cold truth. I am slowly learning to accept the facts of life.

i think the world is really unfair! till today i still think i am not being treated fairly...i wanted to move back to Main E since last december...and there was an empty room available...not as if i asked someone to get out of her room la...but i was not given the room at all...and mr morris was like saying he doesn't know why i am so obsessed with that room...all i want is just some peace and quietness...i hate to live in Baby E. my god...well, you can never predict when the girls are going to make a hell load of noises...whereas Main E is just so peaceful...people there seems to be more considerate...so now when i told them i wanna live outside of school...they say i have to pay myself...plus the boarding fees inside...what rubbish is this man...this is totally unfair...and can't believe mrs bees could even say that i would spy at her if she were to give me that room...she is so lame man...as if i have nothing better to do with my time...well, i am so pissed...

staying another night at my cousin's place...feeling kind of tired now...spent my whole afternoon in the bull ring again...didn't manage to go to market place as it is closed...will be going tomorrow...bought a pair of white pants and a silver scarf...bleah =) i really can't resist the tempation for nice clothes...had dinner at ma potters with my cousin...food was really fabulose...had some chicken breast with mushrooms and cheese sauce...so yummy! so sad...my cousin will be returning to singapore for good...so i doubt i will be visiting birmingham that often anymore...i am gonna miss her company...she is just like a big sis to me...always so sweet and thoughtful...school is starting on tuesday...urgh! wished the hols was longer...didn't manage to study anything today...gonna get down to some serious work once i return to school tomorrow...

i am staying over at my cousin's place in birmingham.happily using her com now...bleah :) met daphne and eng siang at ware house...saw some beautiful red roses in selfridges today...wished i could have them for valentine's day...unfortunately i am dateless and probably will spend the 14th night studying while all the couples out there will be spending their time together...just as long as i have god in my heart and all my friends and family...i am satisfied...bought a really nice top from mango...i am feeling so guilty now...supposed to be going down to birmingham to look for some decorative stuff for my room...but ended up shopping in the bullring...couldn't resist the temptation...there are so many pretty things in the shops...think i will be shopping again tomorrow...wanna look for some nice tops and skirts...had dinner at some jap's place...the teppan noodles was too salty...should have gotten some soupy ones...had two sinful scoopes of white and milk chocolate ice-creams in selfridges...it was really yummy! absolutely fabulose! never tasted such good chocolate ice-creams before...i must go down for more of it tomorrow...heh :) waited for my cousin at mac...studied an hour of bio...i think today was really productive...managed to finish a chapter...despite all the loud background noises...i seem to have gotten back my momentum to study again...i shall charge all the way from now and work towards my goal to get into medical school...anyway, i can't wait for july to come...my a levels will be over then...i would be able to party and get wild with my girly pals...we could all dress up and take loads of funny pics...haha...getting really tired now...i am off pple...good nitez...

finally the long awaited half term hols have arrived...i am still contemplating whether i should go down to london this saturday or should i be staying over my cousin's place in birmingham...going to chester factory outlet tomorrow...hope to find some nice clothes there...and maybe try to look for some decorations for my room...valentine's day is round the corner...but think i won't be celebrating it though...so sad...i think there will be no valentine's day for me for the next 5 years to come...coz of medical school plus my love ones are all back home...just wished that i could spent this special day with them...went for chinese new year dinner at dragon king...food was good...took many pictures with my darling yov...gotta go...tata

i have been extremely tire of late...think i am going through depression...did badly for bio test...felt so terrible when i saw those marks in class...i think my day is really bad...i feel as if i am too weak to hold on any longer....but i know i can't simply give up...again, i am spending the second year of chinese new year in the uk...wish i could be home...i just love the festive season...makes me feel so happy...guess what, though tomorrow is the first day of chinese new year...i have got lessons to attend....urgh! but half term is starting...so think i am going to use this time to catch up with work...

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone!