Argh i am feeling so horrible right now...i feel so alone...i feel so lousy...how am i gonna graduate as a dentist...i was crying on my way back home...i am so lack of confidence...i just screwed up my whole communication skills...will anyone ever know that...sigh...i really don't know how i am gonna improve it...there's no way you could study it...i really do feel horrible...Argh!!!!

i just woke up from my nap...it was supposed to be an hour nap but i ended up sleeping for more than 3 hours...and now it's soon gonna be twelve midnight...well, things havent been easy for me...someone told me last night that he could feel that i am not as happy as i used to be...and i wondered to myself how do you know...to be honest, i am moved by it...it's true things havent been all so bliss and happy...but i am still not giving up hopes...i am still optimistic about it...i believe one day i will be happy...i will find that happiness that i have been searching for...yesterday, i came across a book called captivating...it kind of spoke to me about how i have been feeling...why i have been so upset...the things that i still hold on to...they reviwed to me the secrets of a feminine heart...that my heart matters more than anything else in all creation...the desires i had as a little girl and the longings i still feel as a woman...sometimes when i watch a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, my heart begins to speak again...A thirst rises within me to find that life i was meant to live - the life i dreamed of as a little girl...i was really moved when i read the first chapter of this book...it brought me back to my past...those days with someone...maybe now i am beginning to see that big picture...i am beginning to appreciate things...i dream that things could be the same again...the days where i really felt like a princess...where i could see my warrior in shining armour...and the days where i inpired you to be my hero...i really do miss those days...you fought hard to give me those things that would make me happy...you sacrifice the things that were dear to you to see that smile on my face...you gave me a sense of security...that all i need is you besides my family and god...i miss it...i really do...

i am pissed off right now
if only things could be better
i still feel that agitation with you
maybe we are just heading to our impeding doom

I feel broken inside
How i wish that there's someone
Who would listen to my cries
To give me those hugs that i have wanted for so long
All i could say is that i feel so lost
So lost without you
Maybe we will make it some day
To lead that lives we always wanted

Right now i feel so disheartened
Why can't i be someone better
Why am i feeling so lousy about us
If only things could be better
That i could fly again
To a place where i belong

I am back blogging again as I am feeling emptiness somehow...and this is where i can pour my sorrows onto...I don't feel too right inside me...How i wish there would be someone there who could understand me...to lend me that listening ear...to wipe away those tears...i know i have been a burden to people...and now i just have to keep things to myself...i am hoping one day i could be stronger...i wanna have those wings to fly once more...

I am feeling so lost once more...i miss all my friends back home...sze man, hui yan, teddy and the rest of the 208 peeps...i feel so lost in glasgow without them...i feel so alone in this dark and gloomy winter...why can't i feel the love that i once had? How can i walk this journey myself...i feel so lost...so lost without you...

I wish i could let you fly away
To a place where you belong
Where you could find your own happiness
Where i could see that smile on your face
And that you will have a happy ever after

I am feeling really horrible right now...how can i even help myself?