i am moving to my new flat tomorrow...wow! so much packing to do man...and the layers of dust in my room is causing my eyes to tear and itch...and soon it will be home sweet home for me...to be honest i am not prepare to head home...cause there is so many things inside me that i feel so unsettled...i havent fully healed from my past...yes, i still cry myself to sleep...i still feel so lost...and sometimes i just feel as if i cant carry on any longer...how long more will i have to bear with this pain inside me...why can't i let things go? i was staring into the night sky just now...and i thought of my past...i am finding it so hard to let go...so many things happened to me this past year while i was in glasgow...i miss my grandma so badly...i love her so much...and now she has gone to a far far away place...i received a call from someone today...and somehow while talking to him...i recalled all the good times we had together...okay if only time could stop...