i just woke up from my nap...it was supposed to be an hour nap but i ended up sleeping for more than 3 hours...and now it's soon gonna be twelve midnight...well, things havent been easy for me...someone told me last night that he could feel that i am not as happy as i used to be...and i wondered to myself how do you know...to be honest, i am moved by it...it's true things havent been all so bliss and happy...but i am still not giving up hopes...i am still optimistic about it...i believe one day i will be happy...i will find that happiness that i have been searching for...yesterday, i came across a book called captivating...it kind of spoke to me about how i have been feeling...why i have been so upset...the things that i still hold on to...they reviwed to me the secrets of a feminine heart...that my heart matters more than anything else in all creation...the desires i had as a little girl and the longings i still feel as a woman...sometimes when i watch a movie, sometimes in the wee hours of the night, my heart begins to speak again...A thirst rises within me to find that life i was meant to live - the life i dreamed of as a little girl...i was really moved when i read the first chapter of this book...it brought me back to my past...those days with someone...maybe now i am beginning to see that big picture...i am beginning to appreciate things...i dream that things could be the same again...the days where i really felt like a princess...where i could see my warrior in shining armour...and the days where i inpired you to be my hero...i really do miss those days...you fought hard to give me those things that would make me happy...you sacrifice the things that were dear to you to see that smile on my face...you gave me a sense of security...that all i need is you besides my family and god...i miss it...i really do...