I am feeling so down right now. Only found out tonight that my mom didn't know i have broken up with him. She thought it was a quarrel between us only. Sigh. It feels so crap to know that my love ones didn't know what have been going on all these while. It hurts so much to have to repeat the whole story again. The truth is i am not prepared to say it all over again as it is too painful to even talk about it. I just don't know how to bring myself to tell my mom that all these while i have dated a jerk. Someone who has never appreciated or loved me. Right now, i can only trust that Teddy will help me speak to my mom and tell her what he had done to me. Someone shared with me that what comes around will go around too. Maybe one day when he suffered my fate, he will then understand the pain i am going through. As for now, i will have to bravely accept this fate and move on with life. There's no point asking why. What he had done just tells me that he isn't worthy of my love afterall. I have to trust that there is something better and happier awaiting for me.

And it's true. I have a bright future. A dentist to be. I shouldn't be fearing that i would be left on the shelf. And once i graduate, the world will be my oyster. All the pleasures and opportunities of life will be open for me. Right now, i should just spend this single time grooming myself well. I want to be a connoisseur of all things fine, wine and fine food, exquisite arts, and of course, all things pretty. Also a person of eloquence and that quirky, slightly dramatic sense of humour.