I am feeling so fustrated right now...argh!!!why do i need to go through all these...i really regret not listening to mummy now i am suffering...i wanna cry and give up...i wish i could tell mummy what i am going through...but i know if i ever let her know about how depressed i am feeling...she will be so upset...i wish i could reverse time to last year August...now i am feeling so inconfident with myself...i'm feeling f***ing ugly...tears just keep on welling up in my eyes...stupid thoughts have been coming into my mind...i thought of running across a busy road and get knock down by a car which i seriously wanted to do yesterday but was pulled back by someone or even taking sleeping pills and not wake up forever...what have i done to have to deserve this...it's just me seeking to become better but somehow things just got so screwed up...